oh crap... i mean， oh yay
2005年12月2日
woww diaryyyyy they’re so fun. anyway. what was i gonna say... oh yeah BOOST OF HAPPINESS XDDD. i know i know today was a good day :). but theres alot of work to do : / oh yeah， today was tiring.... went to sleep at 5:30 last night... but finished 2 paragraphs for the dracula essay. lol aww writing is so much fun XD esp like diaries cuz its like a record. hahahahaha. ok i was irritated today... but i feel much much much MUCHHH better :) its good talkinng to ppl. ^^ they make me happy. i shouldn’t concentrate on the small stupid stuff :). crappp i forgot about school and homework. ok， i’ll try and write up my day.... yesterday was alright. amanda was sending jie and i the old emails. it was os natsukashii but i forgot what i wrote back in 6th grade XD. and jie was commenting on them. which i didn’t really find it fun. it was annoying me to be truthful. i really don’t get it. does she still think i’m the same person as i was in 6th grade and stuff. wow thats kinda interesting. oh yeah oops. i forgot where i was now.. hmmm so yeah that was bothering me quite alot ish ish... i dunno she’s just interesting. i really have no clue what she thinks about me. oh gosh i really shouldn’t care. how come i even care. who cares really... but i do somewhat... owell
anyway.. classes are soo awesome. i’m gonna miss them. monster lit is good. i’m happy my writing is improving. and then us history.. my grades are dropping... chinese i got a B which was like "what?" and what else.. awwwww physics makes me smile. the concept is interesting. i love my lab partner and class mates. its totally awesome. today smead and ben w were arguing about chocolate muffins and cranberry muffins. like， how they look different or whatever. i think bryan(sp?) d was in this too. its cute XD actually really cute XDDD lol. i will miss that class. but writers workshop is a good choice for me， if i want to improve my writing. and i originally signed up for cosomolgy so i have to change that. hmmm i don’t regret anything. signing up for cosmology maybe allowed me to be in that physics class. so i’m glad. even though it was for one semester， it was great. i loved it. i hope i can enjoy next semester as well.
oh crappppp i should really stop going online...oh crappp i have a quiz tomorrow in analysis. and i was telling myself how i’m gonna study and do well. >.< now i’m loosing hope for analysis... : / kinda sad. ok ok i have to keep up though. hmm... i’m getting more mellow now... the feeling faded away lol XD kinda feel weird now.... ohh noo is this like a mood swing... : / but yeah， i must finish writing about my day tho! ok so.. physics was fun as usual. then analysis where i did poorly on a quiz cuz i forgot we had hw... then us history... which was alright. same as usual. then the free and i went to go over my rough draft w/ mr windus.thennn i was infront of the locker doing work.. but i couldn’t get much done. owell. then it was chinese. ohhh yeah mrs keegan’s hair looks cute. i’ll try that someday :). and then.... we had monster lit. i was so happy cuz giani(sp?) brought cookies :) so nice and everybody else was happy cuz of the cookie too. lol how cute. is weird and amanda and i SOMEWHAT talked. which we hardly do. but it was all good. i mean i did like it back in the days but now is alright too. ok this is getting super long. but anyway. so many things...... hmmmm ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh my eye hurts. owell. hmm what was i talking about again... oh yeah then whatever whatever and divid l， henry， gabrielle and i went to starbucks. it was fun. then raquel came :) and we all traded(?) off our school pics. it was cute ^^ lol. aw i love them! and talking talking.. then david left. and then the topic went on to perla and nathan.. hmm i told henry about it. but i dont think he told anyone.. but now i feel guilty for telling. hmm chotto ushirometai tte kanji. but owell... hotobori ga samerukoto wo inoru dakedawa. but the WHOLE thing is REALLY confusing me. jie was saying how she didn’t care. but i guess she does. teka nandayo!. kekkyoku uso tsuitetanoka. oh crap crap， over analyze shisugi kamo. kouyuunotte yokunaiyone， datte totally assumptions damon. good times goodtimes. with mint chocolate brownies :) and laughing and smiles and warm warm starbucks ^^. hmm so then we all left. jie and i walked to the bus stop. weird.. we didn’t really talk much... and i thought.."what is there to talk about". hmm ~_~ totally weird. and whenever i said anything she won’t really answer.. hmm maybe she was occupied thinking about something else. i hope things go well with her and perla. they’re good friends. and for her to loose a good friend...thats sad. hmm i wonder who jie’s good friend is.. can i be her good friend? i wonder. nah， she doesnt need me lol. owell. but i do get paranoid. how jie didn’t talk. i feel like she’s analyzing every word i say and interpreting them negitivly so she can prove more how i’m a bad person and stuff. i just feel like that. but i guess thats me thinking too far.. but i don’t think jie is that open to think of ppl in good ways. or i guess she just has mood swings and that influences her views..cuz she changes her mind SO much. but anyway. i’ve always felt her being hostile towards me. i guess she just wasn’t in a good mood then. owell. hmm so we were talking about what classes we’re taking next year. and she says ap physics and speech. i was like cool. but then i thought.. wth... maybe we’ll be in the same class again. am i gonna relive sophomore year and feel miserable again? oh crappp i dunno what to do now. i dunno WHY i feel this way， but i don’t， and i really don’t want to be in classes with her. sophomore year i had every class(other than chinese) with her and i was totally sick and depressed. it seemed like she’ll say stuff， and i molded into what she said. yeah she’s manipulative. i should watch out. i wish she’ll stop whatever. i’m happy the way things are. i kinda can’t wait till college. then i won’t see her. i’m greatful for that. i can’t wait i can’t wait i can’t wait. gosh weird... i don’t think jie thinks of me as a friend. i’m seriously just a person to her. who she can hang out with. and make it seem like she’s living her youth to the fullest by hanging out w/ friends. ok …
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